My teen won’t talk to me or listen. What do I do?
How to Communicate with Your Teen
If you’ve ever asked yourself this question, you are not alone. As children transition into their pre-teen and teen years, they begin moving toward independence while still depending on the safety and connection they find in their parents. Boundaries may be tested, autonomy is developing, and a strong sense of self is forming—making it difficult at times for parents to know how to respond.
Your teen may go from sharing everything with you to seeming annoyed by the same conversations you once enjoyed together. Laying the foundation for open communication before the teen years is ideal, but if you’re already parenting a teen, it’s never too late to rebuild healthy communication patterns and create a supportive environment at home.
Tips for Open Communication with Teens:
Active Listening: Show genuine interest in what they’re saying. Use both verbal and non-verbal cues—like nodding and maintaining eye contact—to signal you’re fully present.
Non-Judgmental Attitude: Enter conversations with curiosity instead of criticism. Let them know their thoughts and feelings are safe with you.
Respect Their Privacy: Allow space for your teen to have private thoughts and experiences. Respecting their boundaries builds trust.
Be Available (Not Overbearing): Make yourself approachable and open to conversation without forcing it. Sometimes, your presence is more powerful than your words.
Validate Their Feelings: Even if you don’t agree, acknowledging their emotions shows empathy and helps them feel understood.
Model Openness: Share your own thoughts and feelings in age-appropriate ways. This shows that vulnerability and honesty are welcome in your home.
Keep It Low Pressure: Conversations don’t always need to be deep. Casual chats during car rides or shared meals can open the door to more meaningful dialogue later.
These strategies and more are explored in the video that accompanies this article. While these resources are helpful, they’re not a replacement for professional support. If you're concerned about your teen's mental or emotional well-being, we encourage you to seek guidance from a licensed therapist.